Are you serious?.....OMG you are serious

Sometimes we get questions that are reasonable, and I don't have a problem with them, for example: " where is the Mens clothing? ". Thats ok, but one I cannot stand..we've all had it: " Do you work here? ". Umm lemme see, Khaki pants, blue shirt, name tag, box cutter.....No I escaped from a hospital, the real @#%& is in the broom closet, how did you fucking catch me?, are you a detective? I think I speak for everyone who has been hit with the Tornado of Stupid questions, on a daily basis I may add. Enough is enough I think, alot of these questions could be self answered if the person would just.

Stop

Think

Look around

Read a sign

Realize its not my job to fix stupid

Maybe I'm being to harsh because I work retail and I know what do to, were taught to read things carefully, pay attention, and be informed.

No fuck that. Seriously the next time someone asks me where something like trash bags are, and they are on that isle, I will say something to the effect of.

" Don't worry I can hardley tell you droped out of school in Kindergarten "

Stop with the Stupid, just Fucking stop it.

STOP IT!!!!

Heres a few helpful hints for you before I go.

-Pacified Associate

" You've just been unplugged "

How do you.....?

How does someone go through a Fire exit not knowing its a Fire exit? The doors usually always have a big sign on it that says...Fire Exit, So how a person can completly ignore that and go through a closed emergency door and activating the alarm is just confusing to me. This happens more then it should really, How do you not see the actual exit 30ft away? Its the big OPEN door with the greeter, not the closed door with an emergency handle with the word FIRE on it.
I think some people just do it because most people are lazy and can't fucking read, Customers have that problem usually, I guess if your a customer, you loose your ability to read a sign. Otherwise you would'nt make dumb shit decesions like this one so many fucking times.

This is put here to inform you that this is an emergency door, it has an alarm for a reason. Believe it or not, there is no candy behind this door.

As you can see in the red circle how close the real door is from the Emergency exit, Must be hard to go out the same door you came in. An extra 30ft. Must be like hard or something.

-Pacified Associate

" You've just been unplugged "

Where they at?

The thing that I find amazing about working anywhere in retail is that they all have the same problem.....Nobody knows how to write a fucking schedule, its unbelievable to me. Heres my problem, we have 5 floor help & 5 Cashiers, stands to reason that every shift should always have coverage.....Not so simple.

For some reason 9 times out of 10, all the cashiers go home by 7, leaving the 2-11 shift empty....meaning what? you ask

A floor associate ( me ), has to run register from 7-10, only three hours yes, but I have my own things to be doing, I have to clean outside, clean inside, water plants, put away freight, do load ups if needed which is hard 2 do from a register..."I know you just have to have the King Kong Grill loaded up in your Mini Cooper like right now, but I have a line, I'm sorry". With as many cashiers as we have it shouldnt become the floor helps duty to fill in mistakes by management, and they wont get us a cashier from the front, because that ruins the ratios for the day...OMG.

Don't see me outside?......Look inside, I'm the guy ringing up the old guy for his 88 bags of fucking candy.

Dear Managers: Pull your heads out of your fucking asses

-Pacified Associate

" you've just been unplugged "

2 Small Moron

It still amazes me to see how smart people really are, or I should say how smart they are not. In my department at work, we sell grills,lawn mowers, patio sets, and yard products such as mulch, rock, and dirt. Not a big deal when it comes time to load up said items for a customer.....well that is untill someone wants the largest patio set we have and they drive a Lebaron or something you would be lucky to get the chairs in. Or when they buy 50 bags of mulch and can only fit 20 in the car and it becomes your fault for loading it incorrectly. Ladies and Gentleman I am not a magician, I did not go to magic camp, and I cannot magicly give you a brain, no matter how much I want to. All it takes is common sense, If your car seats 4, and you want a lawn mower......leave the family at home dumbass, or if you need mulch, come find me, and we can measure how many you can take at a time, its not hard, in fact I encourage it, that way my job is much easier later on in the day, when you come back 8 times because you want 50 bags in a civic. Its very simple people, if the item you want is bigger then your actual vehicle...it will not fit, I don't have a shrink gun..Make friends with someone who owns a truck, pay for their gas and there ya go, problem solved. I am tired of spending the afternoon, opening patio set boxes and shoving them in your small ass clown car like im playing fucking tetris because your retarded.

This will not fit

in this

If its 2 small 2 fit, buy it online and it will go to your house from UPS. Or get someone with a big vehicle.

Its not science......well actually apparently it is.

All I'm saying here is

-Pacified Associate
" you've just been unplugged "